Saturday, April 3, 2010
, 1:23 AM
It has been such a long time since i last posted something. Today went for L4D2 but lost to a stupid group of people. hahaha. caishan asked me about the thailand trip again and to be honest i am really interested.
I knew to go, i need permissions from so many people especially my gf, haix once told her wont go without her but this time I am really really very eager to go. I call and ask if I could go but i got the answer that i expected. she went one big round in telling me she don't allow. haix. sometimes it really makes me wonder if being attached is a good thing? when you are being tied down by commitment. When she once told me she wanted go Malaysia with her friends for a day or so, i did not object, but why cant she be more 'da fang' this time round.
I just feel like going but i know once i come back, quarrels will be endless. haix. if i sign on with SPF, it will be so hard to go overseas liao. WTF! 5years. haix. sometimes i feel that she is plain selfish, she expect me to allow her to go but not when it is me. Just like when she go club and pub, she say go socialize and i will only understand next time! I didnt know what to say.
Haix, i guess i will be stuck in Singapore for at least another 5-6 years. Sian -.-
How i wish i can go with her consent, and i mean a real consent with no hidden meanings.
Nobody knows how I live through.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
, 1:24 AM
To be honest, i never wanted to let you go club. seriously but i know i cant stop you anyway and i dun wanna end up quarreling with you so i gave in. haix. i seriously hate it!!!! it doesnt matter who you are goin with. i jus simply hate it. you know it but still you want to go.
I dunno what to do at all. haix forget it. anyway i hate waiting for people indefinitely, if you wanna go out with me den give me a time and dun fucking make me wait and wait for you like a idiot. i dun like the feeling of waiting and yet dunno wat time i have to wait till. so please give me a god damn time and stick to it or else you guys can forget about asking me out again! I have had enough. %@!*&%
So busy with exams nowadays, no time to blog at all but hai hao not much people follow my blog so i jus write as and well i like. Haix got to finish the 3 chapters of PJMS and i am done. Too upset and tired to do things now liao.
Goodbye!!
Nobody knows how I live through.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
, 12:01 AM
i seriously need someone who i can trust to give me advise and chat with me.
Nobody knows how I live through.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
, 2:11 AM
erm this blog i guess is just here for me to rant about my problems and everything. feel so sick right now.
My temper hasnt been that good recently and I dunno what is going on, shouted at my girl the other day. felt so bad about it. haix. she has been pretty cold towwards me this few days. wonder if it is because of that incident.
Been running into of problems, i wonder when will i be freed from all these. haix. always trying to find someone to talk to at night but everyone seems to be sleeping when i am wide awake. so if anyone who cant sleep at night, jus text me and call me. i am so free!
The last thing, i am sorry to so many of my good friends. Sorry!
Just being random. Good Night.
Nobody knows how I live through.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
, 8:14 PM
Stressed!!!
Exams are coming, project deadline are coming. so many things to be done and it seems like time is never enough. I have so many things to be done on hand. i seriously dunno how i am going to finish all these shit. There is a mock test tml for MICE but honestly speaking, i dun even have the freaking textbook since the start of the semester. How cool? i guess i am dead.
I am falling apart man. so many things to be done. haix. i guess i started too late but i am already trying my best to make up for lost time. i am already halfway through MICE ppt and i aim to finish it by tonight even if it means not sleeping. NO TIME!
Anyway should i sign on as a police officer? there is a bond of 5 years which includes 2 years of NS but i dun dare to commit. what if i wanna back out at the last minute? what if i cant take it? but on the other hand, i am afraid i cant get a decent paying job when i graduate next time. if i sign on, i am guaranteed about 1.9k every month with higher nitec qualification. arhhh i cant seem to make up my mind. i am so undecided. HELP!!
Erm i seriously hate staying at home now. can someone be kind and take me out for a spin? i am just feeling so down. parents arguing over money matters and my bro arguing with his wife over trivial matters. some little stupid things. i cant take it anymore.
Life is unfair!
Nobody knows how I live through.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
, 10:48 PM
I need help!
erm today will be the day I wont want to remember for the rest of my life. Didnt go to school today and many of my classmates called. When i finally answered, they told me I was barred from attending MICE lessons and my attendance wont be marked and in short, it means I wont be able to take my exams. I was very shocked but well i had it coming. I skip school as and when i like so I really should have no complains on this decision. But when i really sit down and think about it, this is not the way i want to live my life. I want to make it through to poly and get a stable job and settle down. So no matter what, i will try my best to ask my teacher to let me sit for the final exam be it studying myself or attend her lessons.
I know i have change alot during this 2 years, i know many people are disappointed in me and i would too if my friends were like me. I know i have to change before it is too late but sometimes laziness got the better of me. I promise i will try my best to change though i guess many have long given up on me. Even today when i talk to QQ, i could sense the disappointment in her. She told me what happened and whats causing me not to go to school when i was always on time and getting good results in NITEC. I didnt know how to reply, all i could muster were 'yup i know'.
I know people will be saying why cant you sleep earlier and get up on time for school, why not off the computer earlier and go to sleep? I dunno how to answer that as well.
Maybe people think i am just a lazy ass who cant get out of his bed in the morning but nobody knows whats actually going on inside me. There are so many things that even my closest friends knows, not even my gf, yongjie and caishan for all that it matters. I have no intention of telling anyone so go ahead and think what you like of me. I simply do not have the time and energy to entertain these kinda things anymore.
Anyway time flies and i am almost 21 years old, went to meet yongjie and caishan for some snacks and we sat down and chit chat a bit. I was asking them if i should sign on as a police officer since i am lagging so much behind other people and i can still study part time when i am inside. I ask my gf the same question as well but they all say it is all up to me. I am still very undecided, some people say its good cos you will have a stable income and job but other people say it is a no life job. i really dunno what to do now, i urgently need some advise!
I think i should sleep early tonight and see how things goes tml.
Hopefully my post tml will be a happy one =)
Tml will be a BETTER day!
Good night everyone!
Nobody knows how I live through.
Friday, January 22, 2010
, 4:47 AM
lifeless
erm just realised how dull and lifeless my blog look, can any kind soul out there help me to design my blog a bit and put some pictures and background music??? PLS! =)
Nobody knows how I live through.